I feel like I’m stuck in purgatory right now. A blatant religious metaphor, but it’s true. My life is just stagnant; I’m existing, but I’m not living. There’s a quote about that. One moment as I Google it…
“To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist; that is all.” -Oscar Wilde
That’s how I feel about myself, now more than ever. My problem is that I’m definitely more of a daydreamer than a doer. I’m honestly not sure what’s wrong with me, but I’m just so unmotivated right now. I have visions about where I’d like to see my life go and things I’d like to do, and then I look at the reality of where I’m at right in this moment (which is, incidentally, the same place I was when I started this blog), and I realize that I’m not doing a damn thing to obtain those dreams of mine.
I am trying to push myself, I’m not giving up, because I am absolutely not a quitter. I’m too ambitious and stubbornly set on what I want, and I won’t stop, not even when I finally find success and start heading towards the direction I want my life to go in, but I still have set backs. I’m only human.
This post sounds a little depressing, now that I’m going back and editing it (I was an English major – I’m a Grammar Nazi!), but I’m just being honest. If I can’t be honest with myself, then who can I be honest with? Certainly not the internet and whoever’s reading this blog, that’s for sure.
I’m not trying to throw a pity party and wallow in self despair. I’m not trying to be all, “Oh, woe is me, I still don’t have a job,” regardless if it may seem that way. The logical, analytical side of me (the side that tends to overpower most of my personality) is currently shaking its head at me, knowing that the reason I’m unhappy with my unexciting life right now is because I’m not taking any action to do anything about it.
Anyway, the point I’m trying to make is that no one likes to read a sour person’s complaints, whether it be over the internet or in person, which is why this is going to be my last post in which I update about my job search. The job hunting process for a recent college grad is extremely frustrating, not that I expected it wouldn’t be, but now that I’m in it, I just can’t wait to be out of it. So, for now, I won’t be talking about it anymore until I finally secure my first ‘real world’ job.
Although, I will share that I am meeting with a head hunter on Tuesday. Fingers crossed she’ll be able to guide me onto a new, clear road to a career path! I’ve already talked to all of the people my dad connected me with. They all gave me advice and provided me with different methods to take or options to explore.
So, to reiterate, I won’t bore you with the details of trying to find a job anymore until I manage to land a job. At that point, I’ll be happy to share my job searching journey in hopes that it’ll help recent college grads who are in the exact same boat that I’m currently in. Someone get in here with me and help me paddle so we can get out of here sooner!
Anyway, from this point on, in order to broaden this blog and make it more enjoyable to read, I will be writing about various topics that strike my interest or provoke meaningful and hopefully witty thoughts from me. I’ve already got some topics in mind.
So, I’ll try to post again in about a week or so. Until then, I hope you won’t give up on reading this blog, and I promise to be more entertaining. More to come soon.
Have a good day,