For those of you keeping score at home, I’ve officially been out of work for four months now. Yay. -_-
I’m sad and disappointed in myself, to be honest. I feel like I’ve run out of options, and now, I really feel like I’m just going to have to take any job, even if it’s not remotely in the field I want to go into, just to start making some money. I really thought that reaching out to my professors would lead to something. I reached out to a couple of them; one said she’d let me know if she heard anything, and the other reached out to two of his friends to see if there would be any possible job openings in their companies. But, alas, it appears there is not.
I’ve reached a point where I literally don’t know what to do anymore. I’m done with college, and I have nothing going on. This is my reality. A lot of my friends are in grad school, some are going on to be student teachers, some have started working, and here I am, feeling completely lost and hopeless. I hate feeling like this, and I really hate this point of my life right now.
I know I’m supposed to enjoy the journey, as my mom has reminded me to do, but it’s hard. I feel like I’m floating in a desolate abyss, unable to detect which way is up or down. I’ve envisioned telling my success story years from now, when I’m living in LA, writing movies and TV shows, or maybe living in a swanky apartment in NYC, writing books and plays. I envision wearing a gorgeous, sparkly gown and walking down the red carpet at the Oscars or Emmy Awards, where a movie I wrote or a TV show that I’m a staff writer for has been nominated. I envision clutching a shiny gold statue and delivering a teary-eyed speech in which I thank my family, my team, my teachers, my friends.
These are my dreams, dreams that I can’t seem to figure out how to make a reality. I’m just a twenty-something young woman, living at home, spending most of her days on the internet, or watching TV, or reading. I’ve tried to explore and to figure out a career path. I’ve reached out to many people, and it all led to nothing.
Of course, I know that my journey is far from over; in fact, in the grand scheme of things, it’s hardly even begun. This is a roadblock, sitting fat and selfishly in the middle of my path to success. I need to figure out how to surpass it somehow, how to squelch it and finally begin to move forward again, happily and confidently, on my road to making my dreams come true.
I can’t help but end this post with a well-known, inspiring quotation, one that is personally one of my all-time favorites, one that resonates with me and gives me motivation to never give up:
“Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined.” -Henry David Thoreau