A few years ago, I wrote a post about how nobody cares about the mortifying shit you’ve done in the past because everyone’s always going to be too focused on their own mortifying shit to care about yours.

I wrote that post both as a reminder to myself and to anyone who struggles with being too inside their own heads to not worry about what others think. Of course, the problem is that it’s so much easier said than done. I harp on comments people make whether in jest or not. I put a lot of unnecessary pressure on myself and tend to take things so seriously to the point where I often have a hard time letting go and moving on. In short, I care too much.

I used to think caring too much made me weird (although, as I shared in my previous post, weird is wonderful). However, as all of us come to learn the older we get, the things that make you different are typically the best parts about you. They make you unique. Oftentimes they’re qualities that people wish they possessed themselves. I still have a bad habit of comparing myself to others instead of focusing more on the things I love about myself in addition to areas of self-improvement. For what it’s worth, I do recognize that I’ve made a lot of progress in the past year alone. Moving to California was a major step. And despite the trauma I went through, that never once deterred me from continuing my pursuit of breaking into the TV writing industry.

Another big step for me was joining a writers’ group run by my friend. I joined last month, and I’m so happy to be part of the group in which we share feedback on each other’s work. (Of course, the industry is currently in the midst of a writers’ strike as the financial security of the entire screenwriting profession is at stake.) So far one of the strongest pieces of advice I’ve gotten from one of the members of the group is to figure out what you want to say and how you want to say it. The things that will resonate most with executives and reps who will get you jobs are the things that showcase who you are on the page.

Even above getting and giving constructive feedback, what also truly helped me was the reassurance that my writing is strong and that people cracked up reading my pilot. That filled me with joy and pride (and I’m weirdly getting emotional now as I’m thinking of it haha) because I care so much about the craft of writing and storytelling. It’s my passion.

A big reason why I love writing is because I love the feeling it gives me to bring my ideas to life. Despite how painfully, frustratingly difficult the process is to write and re-write (as any and every writer can attest), it’s also one of the funnest and most rewarding processes. Nothing feels more satisfying creatively than when all the elements of a script I’ve been working on finally come together, and it makes me laugh or smile or feel excited when I read it.

And sure, as they say, technically any work of fiction is never completed, it’s merely abandoned. Any artist is always the most self-critical when it comes to their own work. There are always changes that can be made and bigger questions to explore beyond a pilot in terms of overall season and series’ arcs, but that only adds to the joy of discovering new ideas along the way with each revision.

And just as I fall in love with shows and characters and ships (currently I’m riding the Creddie hype train. If you know you absolutely know), my interests continue to influence my writing. I want nothing more than to share stories and characters that resonate and inspire people the way my favorites do for me. So yes, I care a lot about both creating and watching/reading amazing stories. Heck, I care so much that I’ve dedicated a whole podcast about storytelling that’s still going strong nearly five years and over 200 episodes later.

I used to think it was a weakness of sorts to care too much, but I’ve finally come to learn that it really is a strength. It’s good to care. It’s important to care. You have to care about what you do. All I can hope is that others will care about my characters and stories and resonate with them as much as I do. So yes, I care too much. And it’s the best.